11:11

Today is 11:11. For me nothing is really special about this day, but one of my colleagues just mentioned me of this 11:11. She told me it is Single's Day today. Okay. That hurts coz I know I am a part of that number of people. And curious, as I have always been hearing about that numbers, I searched its meaning. And it says, a new beginning, a new phase of life and I thought to myself, “Wow that was really nice.” And hence the reason this blog was born today.

I thought I needed to have a new beginning. To finally be set free from this horrible experience. I need to let all my feelings go, soak in the pain, acknowledge it and have a medium to let it all out. As I do love writing and it has always been my way of expressing all my thoughts and feelings, journaling may help me get through this. I have been journaling the past few months but not consistently and maybe having a blog may get me to do this regularly. Knowing the meaning of 11:11 may be the sign and may be the start that I need. A sign that was sent to me to begin this journey towards healing through writing.

So what actually it is I am healing about? For all of you who are still reading and interested on knowing what I have been through, well here it is. Last year, I met someone. Someone who I thought would be my home. Someone who made me feel that I could be a part of something beautiful in the future, a beautiful partnership that promised love and growth together. So as time passed by, he became someone I gave my all with. Love, time, patience, understanding, body, even my future plans I am willing to adjust only for him and for this partnership. He showed me he was someone I could let myself loose because he was ticking all the boxes I am looking for. So I believed all the goodness he showed me at the start. But somehow, I felt at the start that he was too good to be true. Little did I know, I was right. Because everything was a lie. Everything was a lie from the very start.